The age rating system exists to prevent younger people from seeing things that they aren’t necessarily old enough to view, but that didn’t stop most of us from watching something we weren’t supposed to watch in our youth. It could be from the result of laid back parents, sneaking out of bed for some sound down the late-night TV or maybe just a simple mistake on the part of the video rental store (there is a fine line for error between Lord Of The Rings and Lord Of The G-Strings).
However, some studios and corporations rely on a lack of certified compliance to sell something to children that shouldn’t really be for them. Sometimes they go one step further to tweak and adjust a certain franchise to make it marketable for kids. In this list, we will be looking at some of those times.
Conan
Conan (the barbarian, not redhead talk show host) has taken many forms and guises since the original Robert E. Howard fantasy stories began in 1932, and a lot of them have been very bloody affairs. From the classic Schwarzenegger film, the Jason Mamoa reboot and more, the character seems to be in his element when he can unleash the full savagery and brutality of an adult rating. Even the latest game Conan Exiles has an “endowment” slider which lets you determine the size of your characters, ahem, adultness.
Aside from the various comic books, which were actually quite violent, there have been numerous attempts to “kiddify” a character who’s main traits are killing, killing, and more killing. Conan The Destroyer, the sequel to the original Schwarzenegger film, was recut from it’s original R rating down to a PG in order to widen its market, although the movie still shows scenes of bloody violence and would be rated no less than PG-13 if released today (a certificate that wouldn’t be created until later in 1984, the same year as the movie’s release).
The 90s gave us a few animated shows, such as Conan The Adventurer and Conan And TheYoung Warriors. These shows actually came close to the original Robert E. Howard version of the character. Well, as close as you can get without stabbing, slicing, and nudity.
Finally, there was 1997’s Conan The Adventurer. a TV show in the same vein as Xena: WarriorPrincess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, which were popular at the time. A complete betrayal of the character, this Conan was a happy go lucky jovial chap who traveled with his band of merry men in the style of Robin Hood. Needless to say, it bombed and was canceled after just one year.
Mortal Kombat
When originally released back in the 1992 Mortal Kombat sent outrage to parents across America for exposing their children to gallons of blood and guts, and it was the main catalyst for the Entertainment Software Rating Board to be introduced, but besides having the game completely banned or a security guard checking ID at every cabinet, there was nothing the grown-ups could do from stopping there young ones putting their quarters into arcade machines.
Placing the violence of Mortal Kombat into other forms of media proved troublesome. The original live-action movie was rated pg-13 and managed to capture the basic essence of the game even without the fountains of blood. Then Mortal Kombat attempted its own Saturday morning cartoon show called Defenders Of Earth Realm and quite frankly, it sucked. Toning down the Kombat that is Mortal is one thing, but eliminating it altogether is kind of pointless. MK needs death. It would be like buying a ticket to an event named “Daniel Cormier VS Brock Lesnar” only to arrive at the venue and discover it was a rap battle. Which to be fair, would probably be far more entertaining than Defenders Of Earth Realm.
Highlander
Highlander is a movie were immortals battle each other to the death, the only way to kill one another is via decapitation, in which the victor absorbs all the victim’s life energy through an event known as The Quickening. In the end, there can be only one.
On paper that is an awesome premise for a movie, but try selling that to a cartoon studio.
Highlander: The Animated Series gave it a go, focusing on Connor MacLeod’s descendant Quentin MacLeod. The show worked out a way for Quentin to defeat enemies without actually killing them, but still had a surprising amount of character death and beheading from the bad guys. The show kind of worked, more so than Mortal Kombat at least, and it’s spin-off toys were awesome!
Terminator 2
People often debate which is the better Terminator film, the first or the second, and really you can’t compare them to each other. Much like Alien and Aliens, one is a sci-fi horror and the other is a sci-fi adventure. Also like Aliens, just because the tone is different, it doesn’t mean you need to skimp out on the violence!
Despite still being an adult franchise the premise of Arnie as a cyborg with guns and sunglasses was far to cool for marketing to pass up and T2 released a slate of action figures, video games, and theme park rides even though no one under the age of 17 should really be viewing the source material.
Tales From The Crypt
Tales From The Crypt started off as a horror anthology comic book series that was canceled in 1955 after it was believed that stories of that nature were responsible for juvenile delinquency.
Sometimes controversy can be the best publicity and T.F.T.C lived on in movies and a spin-off TV show. Somewhat ironically it found it’s way back to child audiences in the mid-’90s with an animated version called Tales From The Crypt Keeper. Although it was toned down for children, it didn’t change the fact that the show’s host, the aforementioned Crypt Keeper, was basically a reanimated corpse! You wouldn’t find that in Pepper Pig.
Robocop
The first two Robocop’s were adult, bloody satires of what a possible future could be, and they didn’t skimp out on the swearing, drug-taking and blood squibs. So many blood squibs.
Sadly the premise of a Robot Policeman was too good an opportunity to make toys, so the social commentary and grizzly action were all but gone by the time of the terrible third film and the embarrassing live-action series. Even the 2013 remake cooled off the blood splats to get that money making PG-13 rating.
It’s hard to determine which is worst of the RoboCop follow ons, but the animated series is pretty darn close. Which is sad really, because with the right storytelling you can easily repackage RoboCop for children. “Stay out of trouble.”
Rambo
The first Rambo tells the tale of a Vietnam veteran who returns home from war only to feel betrayed by his country and becomes a one-man army to battle his corrupt home town police force. Rambo II onwards see’s old Johnny R become a solider with an almost superhuman ability to dispense people with bullets, arrows, knives and whatever deadly objects he can get his hands on. Despite the tonal shifts from film to film one thing about Rambo has always been a constant. Killin’ baddies in satisfying action.
After G.I Joe got big it was time to animate Rambo. The reluctant war vet was reimagined as “The Champion Of Liberty.” Alongside his companions, a mechanic named Turbo and a master of disguise named Cat, the three would fight the evil forces of General Warhawk. Strangely none of these characters are mentioned in the recent trailer to the upcoming Rambo: Last Blood…
Toxic Avenger
Toxic Avenger has to top our list because despite being cartoony and over the top in nature, those films do include scenes such as old ladies getting their heads run over by cars and defecated themselves with no cutaways. What a fun and joyous premise to build a kids franchise on.
In the late eighties/early nineties, pretty much all kids heroes were toxic or mutated or radiated or something that in real life would course hideous body injuries. Renamed Toxic Crusaders, Toxie and his buddies would go around saving the day as a superhero team who would protect the world from environmental pollution and dangers. Think Captain Planet but a lot grosser.
